Fisherman:
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook
worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with
motor. Please send photograph of motor boat.
Salesman:
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself
the original, genuine article. One of the
most handsome and smartest bachelor's around
is now looking for a wife. And you could be
the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car
and successful career!
Economist:
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great
though my requirements are high. However the
Elasticity of my demands should not bear too
heavy a burden upon the national interest.
Mathematician:
Wife required to complete the formula of my
life. Must be numerate and understand complex
algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.
IT
Consultant:
Well there is definite room for improvement
in my life. The speed of my current flows
of information and processes is slowing down
and the injection of a wife into my life is
bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility
could be an issue.
Business
Man:
Wife wanted for company.
Politician:
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve
the ways we live, to harmonize the processes
of life and to build upon past differences
and short comings. I believe that we the people
need someone to share our lives. To feel the
joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities,
as we should in a civilized society.................
(etc etc and never getting to the point)
Car
Dealer:
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating
wife. Should be in excellent working condition.
Farmer:
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for
breading.
Lawyer:
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible
candidate for the post of wife after marriage.
The person whom I'm looking for should be
strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly
a girl, with evidence to support this view
that she is a girl. The girl should be willing
to surrender to the service and jurisdiction
of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would
be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply
in limited confidence as all liabilities are
null and void in the event of failure on our
part of any kind whatsoever.
Pilot:
Wife required to complete my life. Please
only level headed applicants. She must not
have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must
be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely
must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
Banker:
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits
me with her service.
Shair(Poet):
Bari muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai,
Key hum bhe shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,
Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka...............
Joh kurrey sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butaatah hoon .........
Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah
nahee sarey sarey.
Accountant:
Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse
to making unnecessary expenditure and her
very nature should be one of generating as
few expenses in my life as possible. She should
profit from a nice personality and be a credit
to her family.
Sharabi
(Drinker):
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably
have a drinks factory. I am an occasional
alcoholic who drinks only when friends come
round. Friends come round only seven times
a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from
bar to ghar-bar(home). Meet personally in
a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should
be ample.
Mini
Cab Driver:
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number
9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed
for pick me up. Driving license not necessary,
but maps reading skills are a bonus.
Beggar:
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey
kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah
bhalla karray, Tujhey eik key badlay doh dey
dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!
Builder:
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations
of my life. Must be homely and willing to
build relationship from the ground up.
Doctor:
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness
in my life. However if you feel the need for
a second opinion then it's fine by me.
Army
Commando:
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect
wife. Successful applicants must be able to
use a penknife and a compass. She who dares
wins. Camouflage provided.
Race
Car Driver:
A model wife required to fit in with my fast
track life. Must be able to keep pace!
Astronaut:
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space
in my life. Someone to share my universe.
Must have looks that are out of this world!
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