Jamal with two red ears went to the doctor. the doctor asked himwhat had happene d to his ear....and he answered....."i was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone i accidently picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear..." so the docter said "Oh DEAR!!!.....but what happened to your other ear...??" jamal replied......"The idiot called again !!"

2 frnds go fishing....... they catch alot of fish and return to the shore.....the first frnd says........ i hope u remember the spot where we caught all those fish...man that was our lucky spot!" the other frnds replies......."yes i made an X on the side of the boat to mark the lucky spot.".......the first frdnd says "IDIOT!!!!....how do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow??"

Jack and jill both bought one horse each......they wanted to make sure that they feeded their own horse each morning so jack asked "how will we know which is your and which is mine?" jill said "its easy"..... "ill cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail." some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.....so the next morning confusion arose even more.....so jack said..."don worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell." the boys heard this tooo so they cut the bell..........the next day, jack got frustrated and said "OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."

A guy buys a ticket and wins a lottery. he goes to the store to claim it and the man varifies his ticket number. the sardar then said that "I want my 20 Lakh." the man replied that, "No, Sir. itd doesnt work that way. we will give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." the guy got really angry and said, "Oh NO. I want all my money right now! i won it and i want it." again, , the man reaplied...........that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. the guy got really furious with the manand screamed out, "LOOOK, I WANT MY MONEY!!! IF YOU"RE NOT GOING TO GIVE ME MY 20 LAKHS RIGHT NOW, THEN I WANT MY FIVE RUPEES BACK!!!!"

A guy goes to a barber shop wearing headphones. he tells the hair dressed to cut his hair but not to remove his head phones. the hair dresser does his job......but then he needed to get under the headphones to finish his work......so he removed the headphones thinking that the guy wont een notice......as he removed the headphones....the guy fell on floor, choked, turned bule, and died. the hair dresser picked up the head phones to hear wut he was listenin to .......he heard >>>> "BREATH IN, BREATH OUT, BREATH IN, BREATH OUT..."

2 frnds were talking after they took da chemistry test.....da first student says....how did u do on da exam.....da second one asnswers....ntn man i jus left it blank.....da first one makes a worried face and says oh shyt, now da teacher is gonna think da we cheated cuz i left it blank too...

Somebody asked a woman her age...she said i am half of my husbands age.....so the person asked how old is ur husband.....she said....hes 64 and im 32.....so the person again asked how do u know that u r half of ur husband'z age......she replied....when we got married, he was 32 and i was 16 (half of his age)....and now he is 64, so im 32 now (half his age)